You are not alone
in this grief
A gentle place to find grief support, bereavement resources, helplines, and practical guidance across Aotearoa. There is no right way to grieve, and no timeline you must follow.
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How are you today?
Grief can feel different from one day to the next. Choose what feels closest right now, and we’ll point you to something that may help.
“I’m really sorry today feels so heavy. You do not have to work everything out right now. Start with the next small step.”
Try placing both feet on the floor, taking one slow breath, and naming one safe person or service you could contact.
“Numbness can be part of grief too. It does not mean you are doing grief wrong. Sometimes your mind and body protect you by slowing everything down.”
Try doing one grounding thing today, like having a shower, drinking water, sitting outside, or texting someone you trust.
“Missing someone can come in waves. Some days it sits quietly. Other days it fills the whole room.”
Choose one small way to remember them today. You might light a candle, write their name, look at a photo, or tell one story about them.
“When someone dies, the practical tasks can feel overwhelming. You do not have to do everything at once.”
Pick one task only. Write it down, ask for help if you can, and leave the rest for later.
“Writing can give your grief somewhere to go, even if the words are messy or unfinished.”
Set a timer for five minutes and write without editing. Start with: “Today I wish I could say…”
“It can be hard to know what to say or do when someone is grieving. Simple, steady support often matters more than perfect words.”
Send one gentle message today. Try: “I’m thinking of you. No need to reply. I’m here.”
If you feel unsafe or at risk of harm, call 111 now.
You can also call or text 1737 any time in New Zealand to talk with a trained counsellor — free, 24/7.
Need support right now?
If you feel unsafe or are worried about someone else, call 111 now. For free 24/7 counselling support across New Zealand, click any card below:
You do not need to be in crisis to reach out. It is okay to ask for support early.
Grief support services in New Zealand
These organisations provide bereavement support, grief counselling, and practical help across Aotearoa.
Grief counselling, support groups, and resources for people experiencing loss, grief, trauma or difficult change.
Supports people of all ages through grief, loss, trauma and difficult life changes — including children and young people.
24/7 emotional and practical support for people affected by crime, trauma and suicide bereavement.
Information about grief, loss, symptoms, support options and ways to care for yourself or others.
New Zealand health information including grief and loss support resources across a wide range of experiences.
Downloadable grief and loss information resources from the Ministry of Health — available free of charge.
Support by type of grief
Grief comes in many forms. Whatever you are living through, there is support for you here.
The days and weeks after a death can feel disorienting. There is no correct way to grieve. It is okay to ask your whānau, friends or neighbours to help.
Losing someone to suicide can bring shock, questions, guilt and trauma all at once. Specialist support makes a real difference.
The loss of a baby or child — at any stage — is one of the most painful experiences. Your grief is real and deserves to be acknowledged.
Children grieve differently to adults. Honest, age-appropriate conversations help them feel safe. You do not need to have all the answers.
Sometimes grief begins before a death — when someone we love has a terminal illness. You do not have to face this alone.
Losing a pet can be deeply painful. The grief is real, and it is okay to feel it fully. This kind of grief deserves the same aroha as any other.
Small things that may help today
These are not fixes. They are small supports for a hard day.
Supporting someone through grief
You do not need the right words. Showing up — in small, practical ways — matters more than you know.
What helps
- Say the name of the person who has died — it helps
- Do not try to fix the grief or take the pain away
- Offer specific help — try “Can I bring dinner on Tuesday?”
- Keep checking in after the funeral — grief does not end at the door
- Remember anniversaries, birthdays and hard dates
- Let them talk, repeat themselves, cry, laugh or sit in silence
- Avoid comparing their grief to others
- Avoid “at least…” — it tends to minimise rather than comfort
Read our full guide: What to Say to Someone Who Is Grieving →
Helpful things to say
Resources by region
Find grief support close to home. These regional guides bring together local grief counsellors, bereavement groups, hospice services, funeral aftercare, whānau support, Māori and Pasifika support, and practical first steps after a death.
Helpful grief guides
Simple, practical support for grief, loss, and the hard days that follow.
Practical first steps for the early days after a death, written in simple language.
Read guide →A gentle guide to what grief can feel like in the weeks and months after losing someone.
Read guide →How to talk with a child about death, grief, and big feelings in an honest, caring way.
Read guide →More free grief resources
Plain-language guides to help you, your whānau, or someone you care about navigate grief.
Frequently asked questions
Support this free resource
Grief Support NZ is free for anyone who needs it. If you’d like to help cover website costs, resource updates, and future tools, you can make a small voluntary contribution. There is no pressure at all.
Support Grief Support NZDisclaimer: This website shares general grief information and support resources for people in Aotearoa New Zealand. It is not a crisis service and does not replace professional medical, counselling or mental health support. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 111.