If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 111. For free 24/7 support, call or text 1737.
Birthdays, death anniversaries, Christmas, Father’s Day — these dates are hard for people living with grief. They do not need to be fixed or made better. But they do need to be acknowledged. Here is how to support someone through them.
Why hard dates matter
These are the dates that used to involve the person who died. The absence is visible and specific. Many grieving people dread the lead-up to these dates more than the day itself. Knowing someone else remembers — that the person who died still matters to others — can make a real difference.
What to say on a hard date
- “I know today is a hard one. I’m thinking of you.”
- “I remember [name] today. I hope you’re being kind to yourself.”
- “No need to reply. I just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you both.”
What to offer
Ask if they want company or if they would rather be alone. Offer something specific: “Would it help if I came over?” or “Can I bring dinner?” Do not assume they want to mark the day in a particular way.
How to remember their person
Say the name of the person who died. Share a memory if you have one. Ask how they are being remembered. These small acts tell the grieving person that the person they loved has not been forgotten by the people around them.
Read more: Grief at Christmas and Special Dates | How to Support a Grieving Friend | Browse all guides
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 111. For free 24/7 support, call or text 1737.