If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 111. For free 24/7 support, call or text 1737.
Birthdays, death anniversaries, Christmas — these dates are hard for people living with grief. They do not need to be fixed. But they do need to be acknowledged.
Why hard dates matter
These are dates that used to involve the person who died. The absence is visible and specific. Knowing someone else remembers can make a real difference.
What to say
- “I know today is a hard one. I’m thinking of you.”
- “I remember [name] today. I hope you’re being kind to yourself.”
- “No need to reply. I just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you.”
What to offer
Ask if they want company or solitude. Offer something specific: “Would it help if I came over?” or “Can I bring dinner?” Do not assume they want to mark the day in a particular way.
How to remember their person
Say the name of the person who died. Share a memory. Ask how they are being remembered. These small acts tell the grieving person the person they loved has not been forgotten.
Read more: Grief at Christmas and Special Dates | Browse all guides
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 111. For free 24/7 support, call or text 1737.